I'm just going to complain. It's just one of those days, so if you're not interested in reading my whining you can stop now.
Yesterday I had an acquaintance of mine come up and ask me again when I'm due. I told her April 3rd. She looked at me and said in shocked, "APRIL, not until April, you're huge." I didn't really know what to say so I kind of made a sad face and didn't say anything. Her response, "Well don't you feel huge". Still I didn't know what to say, so I tried to explain that yes I'm due in April, but it's only 5 weeks away since it's now the end of February and I'm due at the first of April. That seemed to satisfy her a little bit. I'm glad I could make her feel better about how big I'm getting...
What a weird view our society has of what's okay to say to pregnant women. I myself have in the past told a pregnant woman that she is huge and that she just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I was never very big with Cassia so I didn't really get these kind of comments. It's a new and not so exciting thing for me. I never really thought that it could be hurtful, but really it can be. It's my body and I worked so hard to look good not too long ago and now here I am again, huge, and who knows if I can spring back as quick after baby number 2.
I was thinking about this comment last night, and yes, I feel huge. Honestly who wouldn't feel huge if they put on 35 lbs in 8 months. Sheesh! However I am curious that we find it okay to walk up to a pregnant woman and tell her she's huge, but wouldn't ever dream of walking up to an overweight person and saying something similar. The pregnant woman is suppose to put on weight, if she didn't her doctor would freak out and the baby would be at risk. So please, pregnant women have feelings too. Don't tell us how huge we are because we already know and it doesn't help to be reminded.
In general I'm sick of being pregnant. I'm swelling. My back hurts. I can't sleep at night. I'm tired all the time. I'm really not sure why all this torture is necessary to get a wiggly screaming child into the world, and I haven't even got to the birth part yet. I really hope this baby comes a couple weeks early like Cassia did. 3 weeks sounds doable, 5 seems like an eternity.
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15 comments:
I am sorry. People really don't think before they speak. 5 weeks. That seems soon! Hope you hang in there! Good luck
Oh man, that happened to me all the time. I was SO grateful that Eliza came early. It was wonderful to be done. You are super close though. I am more than sure that you look beautiful (as always!).
My advice, next time someone says that just smile and say, "Oh yeah, you're looking bigger too. How far along are you?" It will be awesome, esp if they aren't pregnant. :)
I stand in awe and appreciation for Mothers who sacrifice thier comfort, their youth, thier bodies and sometimes even thier lives to bring these precious children into the world. We've been watching Katie go through this, 11 days late, a 9 lb kid, C-section, difficulty nursing, sore everything. But when I watch her face as she holds little Hudson, I see that she feels that it is all worth it in the end.
You will always be my little girl.
Love,
Dad
Crystal,
Hey, I read your ramblings through dad's blog account. I do have my own password now but have not yet been invited to your blog, so I will post on his, but it would be nice if I had access to yours via my email. Please send an invitation.
I am sorry the last few weeks of pregnancy are so challenging. especially when someone says just the wrong thing. Shortly before Katie had Hudson she exclaimed that she was ginormous. I agreed with her and it brought tears to her eyes. I felt really bad. What I was feeling was that she did look ready to go any day and that would be a great relief to her. I know this has nothing to do with your situation. I still think pregnant women look beautiful even if they feel lousy.
Some things that might bring a little relief are nice warm bath (bubbles if you prefer), a walk in the park (even if its raining). A warm cup of cocoa or herbal tea. Doing something you love (especially being with those you love). Mild exercise still produces endorphins which help overall mood.
I love you very much.
Mom
PS. Just do your best.
Call a friend.
Ha! I like Lindsey's idea! People are lame, I'm sorry. I guess you kindof forget what it's like to be pregnant, but that last month is pretty miserable. Hang in there!
It's amazing what we put ourselves through for our kids, isn't it? And they will never fully appreciate it until they are going through the same thing in 25 years or so! Someone said the same thing to my sister, and then she had to mention it on her blog as well. ;) We feel for ya! Hang in there!
Crystal,
Have I told you lately how much I love you? If I could, I would give you a hug and let you know how beautiful you are to me RIGHT NOW! We are accountable for the things we say, and we should always be kind and sensitive, but unfortunately too many people speak before thinking and feeling. Your sacrifices for motherhood are bringing much happiness into the lives of those who love you. As a Grandmother to that precious little one you will soon bring into the world, I am deeply grateful for all you are going through to allow our family name to continue to the next generation.
with much love,
-Mom Whittier
People suck. Babies are supposed to grow and make us huge, because there's a child LIVING inside of us. A massive baby. Stupid lady. I would have popped her in the nose. No really, a good whack. Then I would have said "Now I'm not the only one with something huge--your nose is."
Sorry. I hate pregnancy, too, and I'm not even to the uncomfortable point you are. Good luck surviing this next little while and remember, size is in the eye of the beholder.
It looks like a lot of people agree with you. It's funny because I was just reading Aaron and Heather Coons blog and she said the same thing.
As women we do sacrifice our bodies for "fussy" babies but it will be worth it. The last few weeks really feel like and eternity.
By the way, Cassia is so adorable. I'm very impressed that she can put all those clothes on. Kaylee wont even try.
I wish I could give you a HUGE hug and make everything better.
I am so sorry Crystal! Ahh some people really don't think before they speak. Everything you are saying I was feeling and saying when I was pregnant with Parker. UGH! Hang in there I think women like us that hate being pregant and feel miserable tend to feel great after birth and have a better recovery. Just a thought. Anyways thanks for sending me an invite and I look forward to see how things go! :)
It's basically totally unfair to have to be pregnant in a world where people are so thoughtless. I was a BEAST when I was pregnant with Parker, and my mom was CONSTANTLY telling me to "turn sideways" so she could see how BIG I was getting. Of course I had no control over it, but it almost seems like the comment implies you have something to do with the size and shape of your belly! You are young and athletic and you won't have a pregnant stomach for people to make comments on forever, but people that say stupid things will always be around. Soon you will just just have 2 gorgeous children and nobody will be saying anything about your stomach :)
Next time someone says "gosh you are big" you should do the world a favor and say "you know that isn't a compliment, so you really shouldn't go around saying that." Maybe they would stop saying that to all the pregnant women out there??
There is a lot of love oozing from all these posts for you, Crystal! We love you for enduring and dealing with this whole crazy pregnancy thing, it is so hard!!! You are rockin' this pregnancy, and we can't wait to see your reward at the end :) Love ya!!
I'm sorry you are having hard pregnancy woes. I'm sure you will lose that pregnancy weight in no time just like you did with cassia. Just remember you are swelling, that means fluid retention which means not actual weight gain. I'm sure you look beautiful as always!!
It doesn't really seem fair that the most men can do is have sympathy pains. Can I just say that I'm having them right now, and they are excruciating!
I love you. You're beautiful. And you're going to be the awesome mother to two beautiful children, in addition to being a kick-butt sister, and a generally wonderful individual all around.
I am so sorry that people are so rude! I am utterly dreading that part of being pregnant! I am so excited for you though...I can't believe it is so close. We need to chat sometime and catch up. I wish we were closer and we could meet up and let Ryan and Cassia play (my Ryan of course :) ) I miss you and wish I could be there to see this little guy when he's born! Hope everything else is going good. Call me during the day if you ever want to talk!
Hi Crystal! It's amanda stevens from logan. I know I was invited once before, so I hope it's ok to post...anyway...I think if I had been in your shoes I would have just started to cry. I never bounced back from baby one so good for you! You will do just fine; you're a hard worker. I'm going to be in your neck of the woods first of June; it would be fun to see you guys. Good luck- you'll do great! my blog is monkeystevens.blogspot if you want to tell me to be quiet. haha! jk
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